My husband and I finally got our BFP after six cycles TTC after getting my Mirena removed.
For those of you who don't know, I had an extremely rough c-section experience.
My son was born with spina bifida, and was breech at time of delivery. My husband said they were very rough with my body, and the doctors told me a wider incision had to be made because of the way my son was facing, and his birth defect. They had to reach in, pull out my uterus, and pull my son out by his shoulders to avoid coming into contact with his lesion.
It was a long, painful recovery and I felt so alone when I left the hospital without my son.
I was home alone a lot, and it made it so much more difficult. I fell into a rough patch, and developed moderate PPD.
It took me 19 months to want to even try for another baby. I had to come to terms with myself on a lot of different levels.
I had to come to terms with the fact that all of the things that I went through, I may have to go through again.
There is a much greater risk for my second baby having spina bifida (2-5%, compared to .001%). There is also a risk of a repeat c-section. There is a risk of PPD again. There is a risk of preeclampsia, which I was borderline by my delivery date. It took me awhile to get used to that idea. But I finally was able to accept all of these risks.
When I got my birth control taken out, I was scared as hell! My IUD was severely embedded in my uterus, and I thought to myself, "If I hadn't taken this leap, my body could have been severely compromised because of this damn thing!"
I had to find something to keep me grounded, to keep me motivated. And that was it. This was the time to start trying. Not only that, but my health insurance lapsed two weeks later without me knowing.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into when we began TTC. The emotional ups and downs, and my husband constantly asking me if I was in fertile week, or if his swimmers were working. Although I had fun getting to know my body better, it was stressful and began to take a toll on our marriage.
I finally got my work down to two days a week (on the weekends) and found that my mood is much more elevated and I have so much more time to get things done! The same month that happened, is the month I got my BFP.
I ovulated on St. Patrick's Day so I think the luck of the Irish was with me that day.
And I'm glad to say that I have health insurance again!
I look forward to documenting this amazing journey with all of you.
I welcome all comments, feedback, and shares!
